Has anybody else felt this way?

ok so im 13 (girl) and i been depressed for a while now i hardly ate this week im not sure if im getting enough sleep but the thing is i just cant cry no matter what ... and its been that way for a long time .... and the other day i was talking to my friend or ex friend not really sure :( but i saw her for the very first time the day before i talked with her (we never met but we would txt all the time) and i asked her the next morning if she saw anything on my wrist and she replied saying "y?!" and i just said "oh nvm dnt worry bout it im fine" then she was like "you been cuttin huh?" "yeah.... .... but im fine dnt worry" then she made me tell her whats been buggin me i was able to tell her everything exept for the main reason wich was her ... then at some point she said nobody is worth my tears and the way she handles pain is rule #1 NO CRYING she said nibody is worth her tears and she was trying to help me but idk i havent been able to cry in a very long time even though i kinda need it .... why do you think im holding myself back? even if i try to cry .... nothing :( .... i think im holding myself back but idk why :(