My friend deleted her account!! Advice. Friendship and life crisis?

I'm going to be honest right now I'm having a huge meltdown with myself. I'm having to many problems in my life. I'm pushing friends. I might lose some. I'm really hating life right now. And I really think I will end up deleting my own and pushing myself from friends. I'm planning to become a healthier me, my weight is getting in the way. I need to become a more confident person. Plans for summer. Focus on myself, lose weight, (exercise eat healthier) because no matter how much you say i don't need to i do i will NEVER EVER love my body this way. Anyway home problems. I'm having major problems mentally too. Anxiety, anger, etc. I was going to talk to my friend about my problems but told her "Just forget about it." she then told this sign "???" it irritated me and i told her nvm forget about it and said simple as that. I know I know that's bad. She the greatest most caring friend. I felt super bad. But she deleted her tumblr and facebook account. But right now I just want to send her a message to her yahoo and tell her that i just want to apologize and that i won't be talking to anyone. But I'm horrible in apologizing i need advice. Prontooo!!! and also i know the reason she deleted was because of me there Is not other reason i can think about. Please I need serious advice. Please don't give me rude answers. I know my friends can get better friends. I am worthless as right now. I don't want to bother anyone with my problems. But please give me advice. How do i work with myself this summer. Also how do apologize and what should i say to my friend. :(